VisionInBlue

It's rather dull at work this week, lots of paperwork and no phones ringing. I suppose it has to be better than lots of phone calls and nagging customers.

I got a bit irritated, someone was shoving comments on one of my posts with links to website pages. From the look of it and the descriptions they posted there wasn't much going on on them that was wholesome. I don't see why people do that. If someone wants to look at smut then they're going to google it, if they're reading posts on a blog I doubt that's where their mind is. And why bother posting the comments on a post from back in April?

Snow was out this morning, that was a bit of a shock. It was a nice surprise, well, apart from the sliding to work. I knew it was going to be cold this week but snow?! That's a bit colder than I think anyone expected!

Thank you lovely clock change, I had a lay in and I was still up early! So far I have prepared all the vegetables, browned my beef, and finished the cheesecake. The beef is now simmering in homemade stock [well mostly homemade ] and will be ready at around 2pm so long as I remember how long to cook potatoes!

It's been a fun morning, I watched a couple more episodes of NCIS and had bagels for breakfast. Then I did some washing up and preparing along to music and sang round the kitchen... there may have also been some dancing. I also had some strawberries over so I scoffed them!

Now a bit of chillin out until the girls get here. As a joke I've got an apron that S brought me as a tacky souvenir. A tacky souvenir in my book has to be one that is awful and not useful... well I've been cooking in it this morning so we'll show her!

Started off the day with a nice lay in. Mum and Dad went off for a week, and I made a cheesecake. So it was certainly a good morning. I was supposed to get more stuff cleared up in my room but the postman rang the doorbell and delivered 14 DVDs... this afternoon has been a lot less productive as a result. I've got NCIS season 4, House season 4, CSI NY season 4 part 2 and Iron Man. I've currently got Iron Man on and some popcorn in hand, it's the whole cinema experience but without the annoying people.

Got all my bases covered for lunch tomorrow with the girls. I've picked two things that I know how to do so I wont have to panic. Cheesecake is all done in the fridge and just needs its strawberry topping done tomorrow morning, I can also sort out all the veg first thing then maybe get some of that clearing done.

I'll also try and remember to change all my clocks... that'll be fun, I always miss at least one!

I decided I was going to get a new external hard drive. Pretty mundane sort of thing. Not when I shop! I was surfing around and found one I wanted... then I found it in red. That's how you shop for something boring and make it fun! It's also I sign I need to get a life!

Things seem to be back to their relatively calm ways and I will be back on here on a more regular basis.

So what has been happening in the life of Emma then? Well the main thing is you are now looking at [sort of] the almost Customer Services Manager. We had our job reviews and I was informed that my input was highly valued and that we were all going to take steps to having me officially in the job that I have been doing for months. So that was nice. I didn't realise how much work was getting to me since the "mix up" with my job before. For the first time in months I woke up and I wanted to get out of bed and go to work.

I discovered the wonders of Matalan today and brought four tops, a handbag and some underwear for £40. Great bargain and I got a pretty "membership" card. Yet another one to keep with the other thirty or so in my purse! Just remember friends you don't have to spend a fortune to look good. I've decided to go for a smarter image at work, hence a bit of clothes shopping recently. I'm sticking with my wide legged jeans, I have just rediscovered them after years. They seem to be back in fashion and they make my thighs look thin so I'm loving it! No more trainers either... this one might be harder but I'm going to try.

I also had my first driving lesson in five weeks, I was a bit worried I'd have forgotten everything. I did forget to change from 2nd to 1st when I stopped at a roundabout and I cocked up a parallel park, but then I couldn't do that anyway!! Left Right Right Left. It's like my new mantra. I didn't do too bad though and it's really good fun now. I just have to cram theory test stuff.

Well, I'm in a weekend of clearing up. I just sorted out about six months worth of post, I sat on the sofa with the recycling box and bin next to me. I had about 3 catalogues/brochures for every week. All my DVDs that have made it downstairs have been put in a box so that they can go upstairs after I tidy a space for them tomorrow. I stopped myself from actually looking at DVDs as last time I ended up watching one instead of tidying up. Oh well, back to it then.

So now I'm done with my holiday we can get back to some reality. At the weekend I went to my Uncle's Wedding. Congratulations Uncle and Auntie S!

The happy couple.

My wedding present, aren't I a clever thing!

My whole outfit, a silk dress was a stupid idea in that temperature!

September 29th

This morning was pretty much a drag. I hate waiting at the best of times but there wasn’t even time to do anything. I’d pretty much finished packing by 8.30 so sat out and read my book. I had my last bit of banter with a waiter and then went to get changed.

I filled out my comments form and that was the last thing we handed in before leaving.

Bodrum airport is tiny and to save them time you get to x-ray your own luggage, you also get to lift it onto a waist high platform which was a bit of a struggle for some. Yet another scam by the airlines, when we got to the desk we asked if there were any legroom seats. All of these seats are at £25 extra, unless of course you wait until the end and they aren’t taken by paying customers you get them for free of charge if there isn’t anything else.

My conclusion is that the scales at Gatwick are broken as my bag weighed 17.8 in Turkey and it had a lot less in it. I can’t remember if I put this tip in but people we met told us that if your bag comes in just overweight and they try to charge you [which is currently £8 a kg I believe], you should ask them for proof of when the scales were last checked. They are supposed to “align” the scales after a certain amount of baggage has been through and you have a right to check. Obviously the scales at Gatwick were weighing in our favour, if it comes out extremely heavy there probably isn’t a lot of point checking as you must have just over packed! Mind you they aren’t as strict coming back as the couple in front were 16kg over weight and didn’t get charged.

We brought our duty free, I was sorely tempted by an apple Smirnoff but plumped for regular absolut. All the alcohol was a bit cheaper than back home but negligible. Dad went for a wander and asked if we wanted anything, I could smell chips and had the urge. If you converted the lira price to pounds sterling would you like to hazard a guess at the price? £4.50 for what was a very small portion of chips.

The flight was the usual trauma but sausage and mash for lunch was good. We’re coming down to land and as we’re coming in to London it’s funny to see a layer of cloud as if it’s land, but beautiful.

September 28th

So, in the end last night I watched the show. It was a comedy showcase but apart from two of the animators being dressed as women [which was quite funny] the rest was quite “serious”. I then popped down to the disco with Dad. It is basically a bar on the cliff at the waters edge with a dance floor on the need. Needless to say I didn’t stay long.

This morning I attempted to get in the pool and was up to my thighs when I thought better of it and got out. A tad too cold.

It’s a bit too cloudy today but only those whispy ones, if I could remember any things from my Geography lessons I’d tell you what they were called.

As predicted not a lot happened today. I had my last stint of sunbathing but am quite riled that I have one patch that wont tan. For some reason one strap mark has tanned and the other hasn’t. Don’t ask me why, I have no clue! The really irritating thing is I have a one-shouldered top and it’s the other shoulder!! Typical!

Well, I’ve packed my belongings, it took me a mere ten minutes or so as I didn’t need to concentrate. My case is packed in two sections. Essential washing and non essential washing. I felt like I was leaving loads of stuff out but I have so much less to pack. No bathroom stuff, no lotions. That was what took all the thinking on the way out, this time I just have to make sure everything is empty when I leave the room and I know I’ve packed everything.

Mum says she’s going out for an hours sunbathing in the morning, that seems like a lot of hassle to me. I’m just going to have breakfast, mooch around a bit, come back and shower then go to reception for 10.30. I should eventually get back home for 6ish.

I was asked if I’d come back. The Turkish are lovely people and it’s a wonderful place. I certainly might come back to the country but not to this hotel as it definitely tops the strange hotel list. Also to its credit though it also tops the list of most attractive staff.

September 27th

Only six big lengths today. It wasn’t that it was particularly cold or anything, in fact it was quite nice, but there were people watching me so the first three lengths were done so fast I felt like my lungs were burning. I’ll spend today mainly in the sun as I want to get rid of these bloody tan lines. So as long as all the darks clouds miss us it should be mission accomplished.

It is now ridiculously hot out there so I’ve retreated to the bar where there’s a breeze and drink! I’ve been out here for an hour and a half in the sun and my lines are as blended as they’re going to be because I can’t lay in it any longer.

These last few days have been a little depressing as going home has been on my mind. I’ve been trying to think of it as another day of fun to be had but it’s not working. Maybe if I think of it as another day of flirting instead. Yep, it’s certainly cheered me up if nothing else!

September 26th

Friday morning. As I went through the corridor everything had a dark blue hue. It looked amazing but you knew it meant rain. Sure enough it started while Mum and I were at breakfast. Our hotel towels are out but to be honest they can’t get much wetter than they are already.

Mum is still inside drinking tea but I fancied a wander. I ended up standing out on the deck watching the water. You can’t see Kos today because of the cloud, so what is normally a whole horizon of land is now just a crescent and I’m standing in the middle of it. The rain here is certainly nicer than at home. The light rain, tiny specks that only leave one ring around them when they hit the water, sounds like champagne fizzing in a glass. Watching the surface of the water you could tell it was about to get heavier as the water was over run by large splashes and ripples. It probably is like that at home, you just can’t appreciate it when it’s bouncing off concrete and cars.

It’s 8.30 and I’ve taken cover at reception as I was getting in the way at the main bar while they were trying to move tables out of the rain. It has now stopped raining but trying to find somewhere dry to sit is a bit of a task. I also wandered around a bit of the block by reception. I’m not sure what they consist of but one side has quite large patios/balconies that are about the size of ours. The other side is entirely small, they have a small plastic table and two chairs but you cant move them as they appear to be wedged in. I don’t think they thought that one through! I also found the mini golf, Dad had found it yesterday and told me where to look. It only took us 10 days to find it! I don’t think they want people to find it though. You walk up a path next to the tennis court, after about 10 metres it stops. All you can see as you stand there is a grass bank. If you persist, you come to the six hole mini golf course. It’s six vacuum formed golf holes, I’ll have to ask them what par for the course is.

I’ve just flicked through my photos and I’ve taken 200. God bless the digital camera. I don’t quite know what I’ve taken 200 photos of though. It’s probably about 120 when you take out all the fuzzy ones, ones with my finger in the screen and ones that were somehow taken as the camera was going in or out of the case.

We’ll be going into Bodrum this morning. Mum wants to pop in even though we brought her souvenirs already. I did see some quite funky bags though and I might pop in to the shoe place as well. I know, I can hear you all screaming “but you have enough bags and shoes!” Well go and wash your mouth out with soap and water. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SHOES AND BAGS!

Yet another entertaining story. Last night Mum & Dad went for dinner, now bear in mind the restaurant doesn’t close until 9.30 and they were back in the bar by 9 [so it’s not like they were keeping them from going home or anything]. They’d both finished their main and were about to go and get some dessert. A waiter came and cleared their plates and while they were still sitting there they also to the rest of their cutlery, the condiments, napkins and table runner. Now I thought that was hilarious… but how rude can you get!?

The only way I could get wetter was if someone had actually dunked me in the sea. Even then I wouldn’t be much wetter than I am now. We pootled into Bodrum and had a wander. We literally got five shops before the heavens opened, I was already wet and really couldn’t face the prospect of shopping in the rain. So I turned back for the hotel and as my luck goes I got hit with the worst of it. It was at the point where I was walking under canopies but my shoes were squelching and my hair was dripping that I thought “so why am I trying to stay under cover?” and just kept walking. Only a bored tourist would.

Yet again I’m contemplating. Do I just say sod it and go for a swim or read my book? Yet another tough choice! Ho hum. Oh and to give you some indication of how wet I was and the amount of water around, yesterdays maid put down one towel to soak up water, todays put down three… yes it was that wet. It’s bucketing it down again… I wonder where Mum and Dad are? Hehehe. As it turns out Mum and Dad got a cab back from Bodrum. It would have been a dead cert even without the rain.

All the horrible things have been dawning on me today. When I get home I’ve got to see if I can get my dress dry cleaned in two days. I’ve got to go to the framers and fork over a load of money. I’ve been paid today so when I get back I have to pay my bills. What did I do to deserve all that fun!? [I know, go on holiday for two weeks!]

According to one of the animators said there are now going to be ten days of solid sun. Who knows though as I don’t trust a word they say. One yesterday tried to convince me he had 12 girlfriends!

September 25th

So what are we today then? Thursday? Or did I lose another day and not notice?

Got up and out at 6.50 this morning, 8 big lengths. The whole day has been on the miserable side. It rained while I was swimming, then again around 10ish. It was briefly sunny but I’ve just spent my time in the bar watching stuff on my iPod. This did then turn onto two of the barmen asking to buy it and proceed to try and haggle.

I’m running out of things to do today really, back to watching more stuff then.

I brought loads of make up with me [well I say loads, loads for me], I usually only wear lippy but I brought eyeliner and eye shadowy things too. So I have been playing with them. I now remember why I only wear lippy.

You would think being on holiday would mean I didn’t have black rings around my eyes, you’d be wrong. I’m beginning to think it’s a permanent state! Lets just hope the big bags don’t come back too after the three days back at work.

Well I’ve just stepped out of the shower and little did I know the make up I was fiddling with was covering more black. I’ve even been getting more sleep than normal as I’ve been in bed by half ten and asleep by 11. Even Dad’s been having a better social life than me by going up to the “disco” bar until 12pm.

I’ve ditched the heals as the people this week seem to be very short. I’ve decided I love tans, normally I wouldn’t wear my skirts out quite so happily at home but with a tan on my legs I feel great. My hair has started to get a little bit lighter but not as much as past holidays, it does appear to have bleached out the dyed ends which were still a bit reddy brown so it all looks relatively similar in shade now.

I seem to have developed an early warning rain detector. When I asked reception for extra towels if it was going to rain I didn’t get anything so I just forgot about it. I got back to my room this afternoon and not only do I have extra towels I also have an extra bath mat that the maid has folded and put along the bottom of the patio door. I’m now going to go and pick my shoes off the floor and move them to a shelf just in case.

I managed to get a table all to myself at the bar and started reading Sleeping Doll, I’m already into the book so that’s good.

I seem to be a waiter’s favourite at the moment. The groups of students have gone home and although a few more have turned up they are a bit uptight and boring. They really don’t seem to be able to take a joke where as they all know I’ll have a bit of a laugh with them.

When I went to the bar after dinner I asked for a vodka and coke and the little barman asked who it was for. When I said me, he asked if this meant I was drinking tonight. “Only the one for me though”, on hearing this he put a ridiculous amount of vodka in, it almost blew my head off. It’s not exactly the smoothest vodka I’ve tasted!

The animators sell things to supplement their income and one thing are the trousers that they wear with entertainment printed down them. Anyway I brought a pair and made my birthday wish over them. It hasn’t come true. I’m going to complain, I think they must be a duff pair.

No offence to all you English men but I’m always reminded when I go on holiday how much nicer foreign men are [than the guys I meet when I’m out at home]. They have a sense of humour that doesn’t make me cringe, and they actually listen because they are interested in what you have to say. Take note men!

September 24th

I’ve lost track of days now, which in some respects is quite nice. Part of me thinks being rich and being able to lose myself whenever I want would be wonderful, I also think I would get bored very quickly.

This morning I did proper lengths of the pool, it’s free form and I’d originally been doing lengths of one section. I worked it out, the small lengths were 25 strokes and the big lengths were 90 strokes, give or take my enthusiasm per stroke! I did ten big lengths this morning. Mum was going to join me but she dipped her foot in and quickly ran away. What a chicken. I did so many so I could keep away from the sleazy security guard. In the end, when I did get out him and another guy were following me around so I did a big circle taking pictures until I’d lost them.

We went and did shooting this morning, I scored 27.5 which was the top women’s score and fourth over all. I was the only one to get a bullseye too. The men’s top score was only 29 so I felt pretty good about my score. Even Dad only beat me by half a point.

My reading has totally gone to pot now. Death List annoyed me so much that I’m now not in the mood for reading. I’m going to pinch Mum’s Jeffery Deaver and hope that inspires more reading.

I’ve also given up on the sun today. It’s boiling so I’ve taken refuge on my patio in the shade… waiting for handsome waiters to walk passed.

Something that made me chuckle about holidays was the whole duty free thing. I looked it up before we went away as I was curious about what it currently was. Now, I quote this from the Heathrow website, “If you bring back large quantities of alcohol or tobacco a customs officer is more likely to ask about the purposes for which you hold the goods. This will likely be the case id you appear at the airport with more that..” This is where my entertainment was aroused. 3200 cigarettes. So that’s 16 200 packs or 160 individual boxes. Clearly that amount is not for personal use [unless you smoke 60 a day, in which case you really should be seeking some help]. 400 cigarillos. 200 cigars. I’m not up on these smoking products so I can’t really comment. 3kg of smoking tobacco. Now I’m not sure [again not that familiar with it] but for what is essentially a pack of shredded leaves isn’t that a lot? I’ll list the next ones altogether. 110 litres of beer, 10 litres of spirits, 90 litres of wine, 20 litres of fortified wine. Can you see my quandary here? Obviously duty free rules are for any type of travel be it air, sea or land. How the hell are you supposed to get that through an airport? I can just see someone rolling up with a pallet full of crates. I can however imagine that some people throw away their clothes and fill their suitcases with cigarettes. The limit on gifts is £145. So lets see, I brought 3 gifts so far [pictures to follow] at 21.50tlr, so it’s about half, lets say £11. That’s a lot more tacky stuff I could buy! Tempting, very tempting! I did see some pretty beads so I might have to get some before I go. I saw a lot of places selling those smoking pipes/stands, I would like to see someone trying to bring loads of those back in their suitcase.

A couple are playing tennis at the moment. Their longest rally has been two hits. They’re really kitted out for it too, she’s wearing a bikini and flip flops and he’s wearing Speedo shorts and strapped flip flops. They’re up to four now.. oh and a ball is in the bushes out side the metal framed court. She seems determined to use the racket like a fly swatter.

The path outside my room is more like a tradesmen’s entrance, you can tell what’s coming too. Light clickety clacking is a maids trolley or laundry cart and loud clickety clacking [and I mean loud] is a piece of kitchen equiptment coming through [there’s nowhere for it to go to over near reception so I’m not sure where they take it.

Just had my mid-afternoon snack of fresh doughnuts. Now I’m chilling out again on my patio listening to music.

At this moment in time I’m missing work. Ha ha ha… even I couldn’t keep a straight face at that one! It’s the first time I’ve really thought about work other than “I’d better find a souvenir for those gits!” I wasn’t really that rude about them!

I just had to flick back ome pages to work out what day it was! As it turns out it’s Wednesday [I think]! It’s not been ridiculously hot here. In Kos and Grenada I’ve found it gets so hot that I’m sweating and all I’ve done is moved from laying down to sitting up.

I haven’t seen it in many other hotels but here quite a lot of the trees seem to be fruit bearing, a great way to keep your costs down [in a smaller place anyway]. They have limes, pomegranates and what look like blackberries [but not quite]. I did wonder why they were putting lime in drinks and not lemon, but now I know. Half these things you get in supermarkets and we have now idea how they really grow so it’s nice to see. Now I’m thinking like a business woman. Start an Organic Hotel. Fresh grown produce, fruit trees in the grounds, a couple of tennis court sized vegetable patches. A little farm. I could see it working out in the country, not directly in the city so there’s a bit of peace away from the traffic and hubbub. You could have lessons in how to grow things and tend to them. If there were kids they could feed the animals on the farm, or course that might be a problem. “Mummy, where did Daisy go?” “She just went on holiday like us sweetheart. Come on, lets go and get ready for dinner, it’s steak tonight.”

I suppose I’ll have to get a hustle on soon and get ready, not really sure what time it is. Hmm.. its only five, I don’t have to move for another 45 minutes or so. That means a chance to see some more handsome staff go by. I’m appalled with myself over the lack of names I’ve remembered, I’m going to go to the show tonight because at the end they introduce everyone. Over a week and I still only know Pierro, Ahmed, Musti & Alex. I also know that the waiter with the voice to die for is Honor and I think the barman who lived in Wallington is Ali.

Bar was packed when I went down at half six. I was offered a chair at the bar by a gentleman from Holland who spoke next to no English. Luckily his friend did so I was chatting to him although in general it was quite difficult so I was slightly glad when they went to get changed for dinner. I then watched my iPod for a bit, had a film on it, they were convinced I was watching porn. What a conversation that was!

Saturday 23rd

Dad and I popped to Bodrum today I had to walk two bays and a marina to get there but it was first thing in the morning so it was quite a nice stroll. I didn’t think Dad and I looked like Brits but obviously I was wrong. Dad reckoned when they asked “You from England?” we should have replied “No, Peru.” just to stump them. I pointed out that knowing our luck we’d be talking to the only Peruvian-Turkish national in the city. We got the obligatory tacky souvenirs [an boy are they tacky]. I wanted to find some rude postcards but there were none with naked men on so the hunt goes on.

As it turns out it doesn’t matter what emotion my neighbour is expressing on the phone he is always loud. So far there has been a happy call and now there is an angry followed by stupidity call. He was shouting down the phone spelling his surname several times, then some more angry shouting, then a slight pause followed by lots of expressions along the lines of “oh”, “hmm”, “uh hu”. Much like calls I get at work when people demand to know why they haven’t had their delivery and you tell them it was delivered two weeks ago and they signed for it.

I’ve just attempted to put on a top and have discovered excruciating pain in my left shoulder. This is of course due to repetitive book reading, I always start off sitting up straight reading and it turns into a slump or laying on my front on a sun lounger with my arms out. All my own fauly… hmm, I wonder if I can get someone handsome to rub it for me… well, there’s tonight’s entertainment.

Yet another bizarre thing I forgot to mention about this hotel. It’s the first hotel I’ve ever been to [including in the UK] that wont exchange travellers cheques or money. Yet in the lobby they have a board listing exchange rates!?

So I finished Girl In High Heels. I wouldn’t bother reading this, the life story itself is very interesting one but it’s badly written and badly edited [bad Ebury Press, lots of errors in my edition]. I’ve started on Death List and I’m already a ¼ of the way through but it’s driving me nuts. It’s my own fault for picking it. I hate crime books that are set in England. I’m not sure what it is, the closest I can get is Scotland [Rankin/Rebus] but other than that I have to skip over the ocean to America [Patterson/Cross or Deaver/Rhymes] or Australia [Kathryn Fox]. I knew there was a reason this book had been sitting in my to read pile since last holiday. I might switch to Skeleton Coast [Cussler] and see how some adventure takes me.

September 22nd

Overcast today but braved the weather anyway. As I’m not really a breakfast person I decided to dip myself straight into the pool. What with going to the gym again out of the question because of the heat it’s my only option for exercise. I did 20 brisk lengths and decided that was definitely enough for one day. I’m speeding through this book as well and as it has started raining now I have a chance for some more reading. I don’t see it getting sunny anytime soon so that’s a whole afternoon of reading. Except for a quick outing to watch the newbies arrive. What lovely weather to be greeted by.

I have clearly done something to offend my maids. Not only have they stolen my extra [emergency rain] towels but they have inexplicably stolen a hairgrip [pin type] and the cap to my razor. They have been on the same ledge since we got here so I don’t see why they have decided to take them now. I can only see it as being a nuisance… to me!

I maybe staying in Turkey due to a murder charge if this keeps up. I have new next door neighbours. With a normal tone you can only hear a mumbling through the wall but I could hear every single word the woman said [admittedly I couldn’t understand a word she said as Italian is one of the many languages I don’t speak]. Later I could hear a mobile ringing, it rang six times, no answer. Another six, no answer. Three, husband answers and has a shout down the phone. The phone goes again. Four rings, more shouting. Six rings, no answer. I am now on the verge of going insane and have two ideas. One, I break in, answer the phone and tell them to stop ringing it clearly makes him angry or two, go and ask him to keep it down or at least tell me what he’s shouting about so I can sympathise with him. I don’t mind the shouting if there’s a justified reason. The phone rings again and he starts shouting at it once more. I understood the word fiasco and several that collected together made me think it was to do with a wedding, that to me seems like justified shouting.

September 21st

Woken up at 2am. Not by revellers but by torrential rain. There was no wind at all it was just driving straight down. The power flicked off three times and though I wasn’t left in complete darkness it was still strange. I decided to get up to have a look [plus all that water made me want to pee]. I’m sure the view out to sea was amazing [never sure why we always describe weather with positive words] but there wasn’t much going on by the tennis court. Power just went out again and there’s obviously a giant black cloud over us because this time it was pitch black… or I had my eyes closed. Anyway when I got up I noticed I almost had to swim to the door as there was water coming in. A bath towel later and I’ve got my own little absorbent shoreline set up! These floors are deadly at the best of times, I always have a little wobble after my shower when its slippery. I hope pople realise before they move about that there’s water.

Yet again nothing more than sitting by the pool. I’ve finished Dearly Devoted Dexter and have moved on to We Know. So far so good. Mum told me to slow down or I’d run out of books. I’ve totted it up though and Georgiana will take me a couple of days to read as well as Clive Cussler as I tend to get bogged down with the historic bits. So all in all I should be alright.

Evidently with foreigners the Brits are famed for their polite nature [unless you’re a football hooligan, they have their own category]. The staff have said they love it when Brits come to stay because they don’t mind getting their own drinks and they tidy up after themselves. They like a bit of a change as a few of the other nationalities simply gesture for service with no please or thank you.

As an extension of polite behaviour I have noted the continents [I know this is a hugely judgemental statement but we’ve got almost every European country represented here] lack of proper behaviour and courtesy, and not just to the staff. I have taken to walking down the corridor to my room with my shoes off as ladies shoes are very noisy in the confined tiled spaces. Sometimes I wont do this but I will always walk softly as there are frequently do not disturb signs. Down our corridor there’s at least one family with little kids and the last thing they want is them woken up. Earlier four voices went down our corridor singing [badly] not children or teenagers, 50-60 year olds who should know better. Is it me or has there been a complete manners bypass?

September 20th

There was obviously a heavy night somewhere last night. I could hear music when I was woken up at about 3. When I went down for breakfast I thought someone had left a load of towels out. As it turns out there were three people sleeping on loungers! Comfy!

I saw Dad’s so called organised crime guy. I don’t think so. He looks perfectly crime free to me.

I finished my Lap Dancer book. Phew! Needed a cold shower after that one.

Trust me and my holidays! We thought the guy earlier was joking about the weather. Everyone was packing away loose cushions from the dock and weighing it all down. There has been an extreme weather warning in Bodrum which is only a 10 minute walk down the road. They seem to be fairly concerned about it as they’re bringing dinner forward and telling everyone not to go out of the complex tonight. Someone used the H word but there don’t seem to be any winds at all yet.

Just come back in and its 9pm, it has just started to rain outside. You’d think it was acid the way the Germans were moving.

I’ve also noticed the best way to spot a German [this will be a good note as they seem to have lapsed on the towel front] at least one from every group/couple has been wearing Bjorn Borg sports wear… which is weird as he isn’t German.

As I said dinner started earlier. Mum and Dad weren’t hungry so I said I’d go in then when I came out they could go in and we could save the table at the bar. I went in and decided to go for the main course and then went to a table. Table for one L near some students on a lads holiday J. Probably not sensible, as holding your stomach in while eating is very difficult. I normally only have one glass of wine but thought what the hell and went for the second and merrily supped my way through that. Mean while the head of section came over and filled my water and asked my name. I was feeling a bit annoyed as all the waiters were walking passed with pity on their faces. The head guy was then talking to a waiter from the main bar and pointing at me… now I was getting a complex. As it turned out he told him to go and get me another glass of wine. When he came over he told me it was from him and he did tell me the guys name but with his accent and the noise I had no chance of hearing. I know they all flirt with the women but it does put a smile on my face. So at this point I’m half way through my dessert and looking at my third glass of wine when two waiters walk passed grinning from ear to ear with a third following them with a plate of dessert. Yet again from the same guy, this dessert had been the one I didn’t have as I couldn’t understand it. The base was a mousse/ice cream with a layer of sponge. On the top was an ice cream cone then the whole thing was covered with a layer of chocolate and a sprinkling of almonds. The whole piece looked like a castle but as a portion it was difficult to know how to attack it. I ended up picking at it until he had wandered out of view and then ran for the exit.

I went to the bar and started chatting to the guy serving. “You from England?” “Ah you know Surrey?” “I lived in Wallington.” What a small world. Unfortunately I’m terrible with accents so only understood about half of what he said. Then he told me he went from Wallington to Aberdeen but didn’t like it so came back. Bizarre!

September 19th

So today has been fairly uneventful. I stayed out of the sun for all of it and I seem to be getting better. I’ve also noticed bits I thought were pink from the sun now aren’t and I mean dramatically aren’t so definitely a lot better.

Mum entertained me when she told me Dad reckons he’s spotted someone from Russian organised crime. Evidently he fits the criteria, he’s Russian [well duh!], has what appears to be a bullet wound and several other wounds that appear to be stab type. You see… this is what happens when retired people have things taken away from them. He’s lost golf for two weeks and he’s coming up with epic back stories for people… he’ll be seeing Elvis tomorrow.

Finished book two today, but only just, it took me long enough to get into the swing. So that’s Skin and Bones added to the done pile. I’ve picked a light read next Confessions of a Lap Dancer. I don’t expect it’ll take that long, particularly as I’m having another sun free day tomorrow. Technically I’m slacking on the book front as I was reading one a day last year. Some days I was just enjoying the sun though so it was 9 books over 9 days in all so I can still keep it going.

The flirty bellboy told me there was a minibar and as D & J gave me a Baileys Mini for my birthday [which was really sweet of them] I though I’d put it in the minibar and have it tonight. What it should have been introduced as was a mini fridge as it has two bottles of water in it.

I’ve just got ready to go to the bar and I’m looking less red than yesterday but I did bring an awful lot of tops that bring out red well!

Flirted with a waiter at dinner, I know, so cliché but it has to be done. I actually went to the show that was put on tonight. Hmm, I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more. The only really impressive one was Alex who is the resident show off during the day. He does handstands and break dancing. As it turns out he’s a regular daredevil. The theme tonight was Fire of Egypt or some such nonsense. The first thing he did was touch himself with a lit baton. The fire eating. Then laid on glass and had one of the others stand on him. Then lay as stiff as a board with his head and feet on a chair while someone stood on his stomach. Then they put a bit of stone on there and smashed it with a mallet. Then he did some tricks with a sword. And all of this while he was oiled up in a pair of tight trousers. I wasn’t really paying attention to the act but he looked damn good!! The others were only partly into it [well one wasn’t into it at all and wasn’t keeping in time or putting any effort in] they had been working for near on 12 hours [6 of which were spent talking to some Belgium girls]. You could tell one of the women had obviously done the routine because she was really going for it but the others didn’t get any better from the rehersal earlier. The only thing that was really Egyptian were the outfits and bits where they did the Egyptian hands. But Alex was brilliant and all of the blokes were half naked and oiled, can’t go wrong there!

September 18th

Happy Birthday to me. Not bad so far, it’s 4.30pm and I’ve come inside to cool off before I shower and get ready. Everything was nice and quiet [for the main part], just the way I like it. I had one of those chocolate things for lunch and I’d been keeping out of the sun and finished my book. A couple of the lads found out it was my birthday and sang at me… badly. Then I hear my name shouted across the pool and the guy who does the announcing is waving and blowing kisses… then comes running at me. There’s no chance of hiding unless I go dive in the sea and see how far I can get. I end up being dragged out into the open while a pool full of people sing at me. I did get a cocktail out of it. The announcer had heard from the couple from our flight. “Well I don’t know how he found out.” “Don’t you?! I could have sworn it started over here.” It was all a good laugh though.

As a general aside, if anyone out there has a time machine please can they go back and kill the person, and their original planning, responsible for the Speedo. Most English people seem to have adopted the swimming short over the Speedo. Being that it’s mainly mainland European over here the Speedo is King. There are two traumas with the Speedo, one, Speedos that are too big. Not too bad in its underpants style but the shorts style… lets just say everything hangs a bit too loose. Two, when I’m sitting on my sun lounger and men walk past Speedos are at eye level.

Along the same lines… how do we feel about an upper age limit on topless sunbathing? Perhaps 35? I don’t have a problem with topless sunbathing, its just when they swing and don’t bounce. While we’re at it, thong bikinis… no… on anyone! We don’t need to see you picking them out of your bums.

On a good note I can’t see the red patches of my mosquito bites. The bad side? That’s because I appear to be allergic to my suntan lotion so my legs are now the same colour as the bites!

With Wogan now finished I’m reading Kathryn Fox’s Skin and Bones. A lot of murder and police work, just what the Doctor ordered!

I’ve made my birthday wish over a pair of trousers… don’t ask… bet that’s not coming true.

I’ve just come back to my room. I’m in what might be called agony in some circles. I put anthisan on before I went to dinner and I stopped counting at 20 bites. I’ve just applied a generous coating to about 30 to 35 so I have in fact gained about 8 to 13 by my reckoning.

We booked to have dinner in the a la carte restaurant. It’s an Italian restaurant called Da Vinci. Our friends ate there as well and we were all a bit dismayed. I’ll take you through it. We arrived and were seated at 8pm. This is the only restaurant thy have that has a dress code, but even that is just long trousers. The tables were laid with three sets of cutlery. [3 forks all the same size, 2 small knives, 1 big knife and a soup spoon that was the size of a serving spoon] Set out for dessert there were, oddly, a knife, fork and spoon. I say oddly as there was nothing that required a knife.

There were two anitpasto dishes, aubergine with tomato relish and tomato, basil and mozerella. Two waiters then came along, one putting half [a very small] slice of toasted bread on our plates and the second plonking a spoonful of garlicy salsa on it. When we were finished they brought out the soup [minestrone]. We were quite perplexed that we had only seen a wine menu [despite being all inclusive and the food being free we had to pay for drinks up there. As an example a glass of coke was £3, you get a glass with four ice cubes in, which is to the top of the glass, so you can imagine how little drink is in there]. Mum and Dad had a bottle of wine which was put in a cooler for the waiter to serve from, except after the first glass he didn’t. That is until Dad got up to serve it and he got quite upset that he’d tried to do it himself, even though the glasses had been empty for 15 minutes.

Well, we weren’t left without a menu for much longer, it was given to us during the soup course. Yes I do mean during, I had a spoon at my lips when he started waving the menu in my face. He took Mum and Dad’s bowls while I was still eating but even though tat was rude it didn’t bother me as much as getting my menu while eating.

Now that we could read the menu we discovered that we hadn’t had one of the starter dishes. Dad said to the waiter that we hadn’t had it but we weren’t bothered, just to let them know. He was surprised and treating us like morons said they were on the table when we came in, we told him it wasn’t there and he wandered away without saying anything.

The next course [that we actually got to choose our self] was a choice between tagiatelle in a cheese sauce. Mum and I had this and it was very nice, Caesar salad with a mustard dressing [didn’t know that was the traditional dressing for it] and the third choice was spinach cannelloni with a tomato sauce which Dad had. Now if a complete idiot asks you to tell them what cannelloni is you would say it was a large tube of pasta, yes? Well according to this cook you’d be wrong, when it came it was a large semi circular ravioli made of bread. So it was either ravioli of a pasty.

The main was a choice of three. Chicken stuffed with spinach and a mushroom sauce, veal or mutton. Normally I would have chicken but with two things I don’t eat I had veal, Mum did too and Dad opted for the chicken. It looked nice when it turned up but I was in hysterics within seconds. These were no steak knives and I must have chosen the toughest bit to cut into. And I couldn’t, the knife was just skimming over the top. It appeared that the top was a lot more well done than the bottom so I was able to hack bits off. The sauce was wonderful but the veg, although cooked to perfection were stone cold. Mum’s meat was fatty and she only managed to get about two small bites out of it because the rest was so over cooked. Dad’s looked good too but it had been over cooked and had gone horrendously dry. There were only about 20 people in the restaurant and he was cooking a table at a time from our orders so he should have had perfect timing. When he came to take the plates he looked at Mum’s plate and we explained she wasn’t able to cut it [she decided against getting a replacement as judging by everyone elses meal it wasn’t going to be much better]. Yet again he walked away and that was it. Anywhere else and the chef or manager would have been over in a flash.

I decided to skip dessert as it was only tiramisu, ice cream or fruit salad. I managed to find the only empty table at the bar and snagged it for when everyone came down from the restaurant. Live music tonight but they only seem to know the Eagles, one John Lennon and the entire Beatles back catalogue, which all come with instrumental bits and bad whistling into a mike so it’s also shrill.

September 17th

It’s a lot muggier this morning, I’m actually feeling sticky already and its only just 7.45. Didn’t get a very good nights sleep, was woken by the lads upstairs getting back from the club at 4.45. They made so much noise I had no problem in being loud when I went down for breakfast. At about the same time a woman was running giggling and screaming down out hallway in heels. I presume they were all down the beach at Halikarnasus [I think that’s how its spelt] the worlds biggest open air club that holds 5000 people.

I count another three bites this morning, I wont be sitting on the deck again tonight.

Well, looking at myself in the mirror I don’t really need to sit out in the sun much for the rest of the holiday. I started my day with breakfast, a book and then the gym. I only managed 20 minutes as there wasn’t an aircon unit in sight. I was sweating just sitting on the bike.

I got rid of my big tan marks but now have small ones, not so much of a problem now. It’s nothing a bit of self tan won’t fix at home. I’ve got to remember not to read my book in the sun though. I don’t need white creases at my elbows.

The Turkish pizza lady does chocolate ones too! Oh my god good! Also got propositioned by the chef in the snack bar… what an afternoon.

September 16th

Got up around about 7.30 and pondered going for breakfast. Not a great selection, and of course no bacon so I don’t know how Dad is going to cope.

Wandered about on their “beach”, as most of the coast on this section is rocks they have set up a decking wharf with a roped off swimming area. I might even go in the sea because of it. [Might!] Its got some fishes in it. [Little harmless ones not big chomping ones… I checked!]

Watched the Easy Cruise boat sail away into the distance with a nice funnel of grey fumes as it went. It must have rained heavily in the night as everything is soaking. [This was discovered after I sat down] We’re positioned perfectly for the pool, about 15ft. 20 from the beach. We could do with being closer to the bar as I’m about 50 foot from that. 50 foot from the waterslides but I don’t think I need to go on them.

Pool is lovely, cold but lovely. The spa looks good but it only opens at 9am… so much for getting a workout in before breakfast. They do have a chocolate massage which I think I should do just to say I have but I don’t think I can condone such a waste of chocolate.

I think I’ll be eating lunch in the snack area most days. They have a “Turkish pizza” station which is like a quesadilla. It was yummy so that’s the plan from now on.

We had our rep meeting but he doesn’t seem to know about the hotel. The brochure says there are two a la carte restaurants but we’ve all only found one. He went through describing where they were and kept getting them wrong. We met a lot of English people at the meeting and they have had the same dubious experience with the staff.

When you get in to the restaurant here it’s a bit daunting, its enormous and you just don’t know where to go. There were no staff to help you out. It took us two days to work out there were things being cooked outside. Mum and Dad think its just the difference between long and short haul all inclusive, the whole fend for yourself mentality, but I’m been all inclusive in Europe several times and that’s not the case. Menorca, Lanzarote & Kos [which is only a boat shuttle away] are all well organised and efficient.

As a note, if you’re from England I wouldn’t come here if you’re easily offended. English in general are few and far between as we’re only just discovering Turkey properly. We are some what of a novelty to the staff here and as such they are prone to making a joke at our expense. So far I’ve heard the following at least a dozen times when it is discovered we are English. “I’m from… Yorkshire/Halifax/Manchester/Scotland” in the related regional accent… but badly. “What? I’m alright” in an aggressive teenage manner. “Cheap as chips” and “I should work in Asda”, that last one didn’t have the accompanying back pocket slapping so they haven’t got that one right yet. I went to the bar and there were three members of staff there. I was chatting to two of them and the one in the back asked where I was from and the bar man I’d spoken to told him. The response was “English, of course” in a really offensive way. I’m afraid it doesn’t matter how wonderful the weather is it doesn’t make up for rude staff.

Bizarrely I’ve only seen two female regular staff so far, one chef and one doing the bar in reception. There don’t seem to be many front of house female staff. So all the bars and restaurants have turned into a bit of a lads thing. The only staff to make a good impression on me so far we’re the bellboy, one of the maids and Marco from the spa… although Marco did use the line “I’m from Halifax” and “Cheap as chips”.

Its next to impossible to get an alcoholic drink at the bar, I’m alright I’m just having soft drinks. There’s no Bacardi or rum of any description. No scotch either and you can’t get fruit juices.

Dinner tonight was brilliant, some lovely fish and chicken. Plus profiteroles for dessert.

Back at the bar we met up with a couple who were on our flight. They’re a good laugh so should make things more tolerable. We were all reliving holidays from years gone by. [I left out all the incrimination bits]

I’m behind in my reading, I’ve been here more than a day and still haven’t finished a book! I might get some reading in tomorrow, I’ve planned my day. Breakfast, gym, lunch, pool. Of course there will be other bits in between but that’s the basics of it. Typical English but I already have some pink bits. I wouldn’t mind but they’re the bits I put more lotion on as I know they go pink. I’ve also been told my legs are too white so I’m going to have to lay with my feet in the sun. I was going to “general” tan during the first week but I’ve discovered that my back will be nice and even but the front already has a halter neck tan line, thin strapped swimmers tomorrow!

September 15th

So this morning I got myself out of bed at 3.30. Surprisingly I was awake! All that needed doing was lugging my case downstairs and washing up a couple of bits. Then of course my own paranoid checking of my hand luggage… did I have everything? iPod, camera, phone & purse? It’s just as well Mum was looking after my passport & ticket or I might have lost my mind.

Taxi driver turned up at 4.30 and we all piled in. Instead of heading straight to the A23 we got treated to a back road extravaganza. This wouldn’t have been a problem but it was pitch black out, he didn’t seem to know how a break pedal works and he didn’t seem bothered by the bend with the duck pond right on the edge.

We almost had heart failure getting out luggage to check in. [I don’t remember there being a giant slope to get to it before] Dad and I attempted to get to the top in a tag team style effort. Being one of the first check in’s of the day has its advantages. We joined the taped up section to wait and we were first in the queue. My bag was even lighter than I originally thought [somehow]! The scales at the desk clocked it at under 16kg… hmmm? Something fishy. I’m hoping this means my scales weigh things to heavy because then that’s good for me!

Passport control next. Anything liquid or paste in a bag on their own. Everyone then queued up for the x-ray machines. No taking out shoes of this time… thank god. Is it just me or do those roller table things that whoosh your bags on and off the machine really entertain anyone else too? No? Just me then!

At this point I was entitled to my free “thrill” as I went through the metal detector and beeped. Thank you to the very nice lady for that.

We stopped for breakfast [toast and OJ for me] before getting down to the shopping. I just brought a J Lo perfume in the end, mainly because it had a really pretty bottle. [It did smell good too] Dad took my allowance of cigarettes so he had 400 in all, I can’t wait to see how long they last. I managed to convince Mum not to get an iPod in the airport. They are cheaper but she might as well wait. [As an aside, I’m a bit annoyed as I brought an 80GB Classic and they have now stopped doing them as they’ve brought out a 120GB that’s only £20 more, isn’t it always the way!] I don’t see why Mum wants one, she doesn’t go anywhere apart from her computer and Tesco when we’re not on holiday so there’s not really much point in having one. Ahhh well.

Boarding was called and as ever the instant the board changed everyone made a dash for it. It wont make you get on the plane any quicker people! Even though its September 15th there are still a few kids about, surely they should be in school. Which reminds me, I saw the best luggage ever. It’s for kids and it’s designed like animals. I saw a pig and a cow, they have wheels so you can drag it round like a pet on a lead. Even better though if you get bored of that it doubles as a seat so Mum and Dad can drag you along on it. When are they making adult versions?

They had one of those book vending machines in the boarding area. I resisted the urge to use it, which was impressive as they actually had a book I wanted.

I made an observation when we got on the plane. The last few years we’ve travelled with Virgin and there’s a good amount of space per seat. We’re flying with Thomas Cook this time and the only plane smaller than this I’ve flown in was a 12 seater… and I still had more room! I’m 5’9 ish and I sat in the seat and wasn’t comfortable. My knees are touching the seat in front so every time the woman moved it brings tears to my eyes. At this point my bum is wedged in but the sides of my legs are being gouged by arm rests. [I am at the moment hunched to write this as the tray comes firmly down in my stomach] I’m having this trouble I dread to think how Dad is at 6’5. I did notice that he had a nap earlier and was resting his head on the seat in front as it was more comfortable. [But only slightly]

We passed over some mountains, I took a few snaps but you know what airplane windows are like so we’ll have to wait and see. I couldn’t reach the camera in time to get the ones with lots of snow on but they still looked good. Looks like we’re over sea at the moment. Nothing much to snap there. We’ve just had breakfast and everyone was contorted to cut their good. Omelette, sausage, hash brown and a tomato mush. I always quite like plane food, unless you go business on BMI, that’s rubbish. On the way back it’ll be lunch food though and I’m not enjoying the thought of curly sandwiches.

I’ve got some land in view at the moment, we don’t have any clue what the islands are at all! It would be a lot easier if they were coloured like the maps in the atlas. Where ever it is its got wonderful beaches. The sea is such a beautiful colour up here. I can see at least seven different shades of clue and green. As a contrast we are now in a cloud where everything is white.

Film has just finished. It was Iron Man, didn’t bother with the headphones, airlines now are getting greedy. Headphones were £2.75, chocolate bars were £1 and meals were optional when you brought your ticket but you could buy a snack pack for £3. I can’t imagine what they’ll charge for next. Maybe turnstile toilets like they have at Victoria Station.

The temperature is 33 degrees we were told, and its wonderful… we weren’t told that bit but I think it is! It was an hours shuttle to the hotel, there was so much to see on the way you couldn’t take it all in.

There are quite a few people here, the pool is packed. The guy at reception was a bit off, and more or less threw the form to fill out at me. The bellboy [I never like that phrase is seems a bit childish] showed us to our rooms. Mine is over the hall from Mum & Dad’s, I’ve got a view of the tennis court. The lad showed me how to work everything, he made a few jokes and was a bit cheeky so that cheered me up. Nipped to the bar for a quick drink and then a wander around. Looks like a nice hotel but they aren’t very organised. The welcome brochure is an A4 bit of paper. Everywhere we’ve been, including self catering places have a map at least. On this paper is a list of things about the hotel. Here are just a couple that amused me.

“Fitness free or charge [no problem with this one]
Sauna free of charge [or this]
Mattress free of charge” [….hmm]

Now this actually means one that goes on a sun lounger but it made me laugh! There’s the lobby bar that’s open 24hrs just in case we hadn’t milked the all inclusive enough during the day. You have ice cream hour [16.00 to 17.00] which is also coffee & cake hour. There’s snack hour from 12.00 to 15.00 [yes snack hour is three hours long].

So until we see our rep tomorrow we have to guess where everything is. I’m now looking at my suitcase thinking “but I only just packed it!” Oh well.

I know I shouldn’t be negative but it’s difficult. European [I know Turkey isn’t technically part of Europe yet but near enough] all inclusives just aren’t as good as their long haul counterparts. I’ll come back to that later.

I had a bit of a nap earlier and relaxed with my puzzles and iPod. Then I realised it was getting on a bit so quickly showered. As it turns out Mum and Dad weren’t ready so my book and I headed to the bar. Evidently having boobs instantly attracts waiters like flies. After a little while one came over with a drink for me from one of the bar man which made me smile [yes I know they do that to all the women but I can still have a smile about it!] It was Turkish theme night tonight. There was a show but to be honest I’m so tired I’ll catch it next week. They also had some stalls where I brought a ring [a girl can never have too much jewellery!] Dinner was okay, a little bit disappointing, hopefully tomorrow will be better.