This post is a bit long as I was taking Eurovision quite seriously... why I bother I don't know.
Terry was right about the presenters voice, it cut right through me.
Romania - Nico & Vlad. The woman in this scared me with her opening note. It was quite good until she started singing. 7/10
UK - Goes without saying. Loved it! It rocks my socks off.
Albania - Kind of reminds me of a tranquility CD mixed with gregorian chanting at the beginning. When it got slightly more up beat in the middle I didn't think it suited her voice. 6/10
Germany - Little bit Stevie Nicks. What was with the red afro? They were a bit too worried about the floaty costumes, they should have been worried about singing in tune. 6/10
Armenia - Three gyrating "eediets" as Terry puts it. Great dress. 9/10
Bosnia & Herzegovina - Brides, a washing line and a man with a head band. WTF!? Who let him in the make up bag? Knitting? I think they all failed and audition for kids TV. 4/10 (but only for the tune without the words and dancing)
* The woman out with the Serbian crowd... "lets go crazy!" with some recreational drugs and body paint by the look of it.
Israel - I though it was a woman to start off with from the singing. I didn't cringe at a single note. Toe tapping joy. 9/10
Finland - Trying to bring back Lordi, good but not as good as them. 9/10
Croatia - Old man & a spinning woman. I feel like I'm in a dramatic TV program trying to solve a mystery. Extra points for the crazy old man and the bottle xylophone. 7/10
Poland - Terry was right about the tan and the teeth. I said "God look at the size of them" my Dad replied "Yeah pendulous" which made us roar with laughter because he didn't realise I was talking about her teeth. The songs a bit forgettable though, bland. 6/10
Iceland - "Big fish little fish cardboard box". Almost didn't make the high notes. Yet again a woman is introduced to the song and manages to ruin it. 8/10
Turkey - One of those guitarist was completely off his nut. Quite good, could have been a bit more indie. 7.5/10
* Must those two jump into the screen like that? Do you think they were released from the asylum earlier in the day? They really must be tired if they work seven days and party seven nights.
Portugal - The Serbian intro to this cracked me up "jumping up and down on big balls" good old Terry. Giant earrings and reddy-purple hair, I'd vote for her because of that. Felt a bit like being at an up beat funeral. 7/10
Latvia - Sleazy pirates. He wasn't going to kill anyone with that bendy sword... but maybe with that song. Call the kraken. 5/10
Sweden - There was something horribly disturbing about her face and hair line. I think they were hoping skimpy dresses would carry this but that face and some of those notes lost it for me. 6/10
Denmark - Classic Terry on the intro... no visa, gets in and box and is never seen again... we love you Terry. This song reminds me of something but I can't put my finger on it. Great tune and lyrics, simple and well executed. 9/10
Georgia - A spinning man this time. You're inside, take your glasses off. Rather depressing which put me off. The others made me smile but this made me think. (I don't associate that with Eurovision) 6/10
Ukraine - Men in light boxes?! Great dancing. She could have someones eye out with those tassles. Sounds like she's struggling a bit with this song. 8/10
* What an ugly trophy.
France - Fake beards?! Bit Jarvis Cocker. They weren't singing in French I'm shocked. I liked it, it's different but dear lord this can't win! 7/10
Azerbaijan - Who put that first guys balls in a clamp? Another different one but this again is another one for some kind of rock musical, too theatric. 6/10
Greece - Nice dress. Good tune, not sure the ethnic backing music added anything. Sexy dancing shouldn't count towards the score (but it will). 8/10
Spain - I want one of those kiddie guitars! Spanish is such a wonderful language in song... what a waste. Can we bring in sudden death? With actual death like in "Balls Of Fury"? 2/10
Serbia - Wonderful voice. Quite a serious song but impressive. Can't really pick on it for anything. 9/10
Russia - Lycra was not appreciated in this intro. His eyes were quite red... I wonder why? Bit obsessed with movement. Ripping his shirt open did nothing to make us forget about those ridiculous girlie notes he hit. 6/10
Norway - She has perfect skin! But breaths rather loudly. Fairly safe song. 8/10
So here's my list of winners.
1] UK (being optimistic but I love Andy]
2] Israel
3] Armenia
4] Serbia
5] Denmark
6] Finland
What I think will actually win. (I forgot to take heavy block voting into account)
1] Greece
2] Norway
3] Armenia
* That basketball player was enormous.
* Will this wedding and funeral music never end? Aww they acknowledged Terry in his box. Why are the Green Room Lady's eye lashes so big?
Voting:
We gave 10 points to the pirates?! What the hell were you lot thinking?
Block voting!!! BOO!!!
I'm rather upset, nine votes down and only six points, we deserved more than that.
Bulgaria gave twelve points to Germany?! Give me a break.
Terry is psychic when it comes to block voting.
I think they're all deaf in Europe. Plus should all of those places even count as European?
Are you freaking kidding me?! Less points than Spain.
Andorra... what a surprise with your voting.
We should stop calling it Eurovision. It's not really a fair representation after all.
Good old Ireland! Maybe we wont eat a turkey dinner.
This is such a farce, lets get Americans to do all the voting.
What is with that Swedish guy?!
Right at the end of the voting is where I lost the will to live. What is the point in taking part in this thing? Next year if all the Western European countries dropped out there would be no way they'd be able to do it. They'd have to take a serious look at the voting situation.