VisionInBlue

I'm off to Oxford tomorrow, nice you might think but it's for a meeting. We're learning about one of our suppliers products. It's not quite as bad as the one last week, this time I only have to get up and leave at 7am. A bit of a shame I wont get to see any of Oxford, I've always wanted to go there for a bit of culture and everything.

I should get back from that around half seven and then the time from then is my own. Friday off with all the time I'm owed and then a bank holiday weekend. Friday lunch with the girls from work. Some reading. Maybe go to the cinema. My parents are coming back though so I can't see it all being relaxing.

I've got myself a proof copy of a book though and I'm going to start reading that. I always wait for them to come out so I'm really excited I've got it already!

I've been sitting here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of something to write. It's not often I'm lost for words (and just see how many words I can get out of being speechless!) I've normally got more inspiration that this. I think my brain might be getting a bit rusty. Since the shake up at work its not been the same. Every day I'd have a discussion about something in the news and it filled my head with lots of ideas. Work is now just a place of work.

I want to make some new memories. The ones I have are good (with the occasional one that causes cringing) but I haven't had a good memory for over a year. The only ones made in the last year have been horrible work related ones.

where to start though? I've got so much I want to share but no one to share it with. Half of my friends jave relationships within our group of friends. This isn't something I can do. I know I've got lots to share but I'm not good at doing it even if I really want to. I suppose it's mainly because I haven't found someone I trust. It's just so difficult these days to find someone thats serious. I'm not sure it's even a relationship I'm looking for, just a new friend, someone to experience new things with, go out to exciting places. With everyone I know we've fallen into the same sort of routines.

Lacking courage is one of my problems, I'm happy to talk to new people but beyond that I have trouble with prolonged relationships I guess. The last few times I've tried have knocked my confidence.

I've been doing a Customer Service Excellence course and last Sunday I submitted the last piece of coursework. It takes about a week to the results back and I know this but I'm still nervous. Especially since for all I know the letter could be at someone elses house. For some reason our postman has been delivering once in the morning then again in the afternoon. The trouble is the afternoon delivery is never our post. Its always for the right number but a different local road... but so far never the same one twice! It makes me wonder if I'm missing any post.

It's raining and grey here at the moment but I'm loving it. There is the most incredible thunder. The sky isn't lighting up that much, it's still relatively bright out side despite the clouds. I just love the sound of rolling thunder.

She's an incredible artist and I've always loved her work. Recently she's done some Disney photographs and yet again it's a wonderful achievement.

This is my favourite one but go and have a look at the other stunning pictures.

http://thedisneyblog.com/?s=annie+leibovitz

One of my favourite songs. DOA by the Foo Fighters.

Woo hoo it worked!!!

I've got to start small with a few fun pic things.

Okay so I seem to understand that... it'll be videos next. With regards to the last photo... Do you know Dave? Is there are particular reason he only wears womens underwear on Tuesdays?

This evening I've been getting my fill of Doctor Who with David Tenant and raspberry sorbet. Most productive evening ever? No. At least I'm going to have great dreams about David Tenant though! If I manage to watch Tomb Raider before going to sleep they're going to be even better!

I've been looking for the right pictures for my background. First I had a black and white one that was a bit too romantic for my liking, the one at the moment is blue and white and a bit too twee. Sure they both look nice but neither one actually hits the spot as it were.

I'm still searching for the right thing. I'm also going to learn how to put videos on my page because that's great and I have no clue how to do it!!

When I got up this morning I looked out the window and saw the beautiful streaming sunlight. It's one of those things that can always brighten my day. I sang in the shower and then changed in to some summery clothes that I had to dig out of a drawer.

Usually I will come online and then put a DVD on, or just stay online. Today though I've read my emails and some inspiring things on here and I'm now going to sit outside with some fresh fruit and a book. It's too good a day to miss so what are you doing reading this?! Go outside!

After a stressful week at work I need to find some peace. Whats the best way? Everyone has their own way, reading, a soak in the bath or a nice cup of tea. I'm writing for my peace, I don't know why it makes me feel calm. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, hopefully there'll be some sun and I can sit out in the garden with my ice cream. No stress, no hassle... it'll be bliss.

I have had such a tiring day today. Our emails have just been fixed after three days of not working. As most of our queries come in via email the whole morning was spent answering them... people think they can be rude to an email and it's acceptable... I'm here to tell you people that its not. Everyone of them managed to make me feel just a little bit less of myself. Although I made myself feel better by watching the amazing rain storm. It could only have been better if I'd been out in it.

One more day to go this week, early start and early finish. I'm still owed time in lieu for my galavanting yesterday and I'm going to make a really long weekend of next weekend. My Mum and Dad are going away for a week so there will be less nagging. I'm going to get back to my cross stitch, no I'm not an old lady (as a friend suggested) I just find it really theraputic. Although I did make the mistake of picking a design that is about seven different shades of beige!

I'm going to try and investigate the other things I can do with a PRO account. Not quite fathomed them all out but I'm sure it'll start making a bit more sense.

I went on a work trip today and spent most of it "in transit" but I did see some fantastic things. Not far from home we went past what can only be described as a grave yard. There were no gravestones or weeping people but a yard full of old red telephone boxes. They were neat in a square formation, I couldn't count them all but there were about 50 of them there. Such a funny sight.

Slightly later we went past a motorway supply yard full of road barriers and reflective bollards. There were massive piles of traffic cones, all orange and white, they covered a ridiculously large area. They were all brand new, no dents and no slight bends. This one really made me think though... if all those cones were new... why don't you ever see new ones out at road works?

I'm wrote this at lunch time but due to potential spying on my work computer I'm typing it up as I relax at home!

work has been a real trauma for me recently, I put myself out for this place and I got screwed over. For over a year I worked from before 8 until 5 without a real break to speak of, except on Fridays when the girls drag me to the pub. That is my stupid fault though and I understand that. Since we had the reshuffle things have been different. It was at that point that I was supposed to get my promotion but they changed their minds and told me in a wonderfully heartless manner. Needless to say I was angry and when I'd calmed down I pointed out to them that the promotion wasn't about money but because of all the work I did already. Well when everythingmoved around I was supposed to get some of the work taken off my hands... so far I've gained three, possibly four jobs.

The fact of the matter is I'm a lot more efficient than the rest of the people in my department (is it bragging if it's true?) and yes I can still do all that work but I shouldn't have to. The point is I'm just a customer services rep, yet I'm expected to fill in for our warehouse manager and when push comes to shove I can fill in for the general manager. Should I have to though? That's my question. Everyone says I could (and should) get a better paid job. I get stuck in the rut though, the only reason I've left my previous jobs was because I was forced by circumstances to go.

I've been thinking recently, the single life has been treating me well. I can concentrate on myself and do things I've been putting off or didn't have time to do. I changed jobs (all be it within the same company), I got some new hobbies, saw my friends more and learnt some new things (including doing a certified course in customer services).

Do I miss anything? Only one thing really, having someone to fall asleep next to. I'm not 100% sure I miss that entirely as I do love sleeping diagonally across the bed.

They say there's someone out there for everyone, maybe I'll find the man or woman for me sometime. It'd be nice to know where to look. I'm always shocked by the immaturity when I go out, teenage tendencies seem to last a lot longer these days (especially in men).

I just got my latest rentals from lovefilm (we're not talking about the right now because they get me irate). I'm a fan of stand up comedy and particularly love Eddie Izzard, Lenny Henry and Jasper Carrott. I'll give anything a try though and soon found I loved Jack Dee and Phill Jupitus. I'm not a fan of Ricky Gervais but I saw his Animal tour and liked it, apart from an excessive amount of swearing. I wasn't interested in his Politics one but when Fame came out I thought I'd give it a go. I spent the first ten minutes watching and didn't even crack a smile. There are just somethings I don't think you should make fun of and a fairly high one on the list is disease and medical conditions. Cancer and autism were the first things in the show. It just wasn't right to laugh and couldn't. The show got better but if I wasn't renting so cheap I don't think I'd bother with him again.

I don't know how many of you use lovefilm, I rejoined recently after a long absence. Now I remember why. They were forever sending me "we miss you" letters and then over Christmas I got a voucher for three months free. When I rejoined it was brilliant service and I was pleasantly surprised, they must have improved so much (I thought) because they had got a lot more business and more professional. Less than two weeks after I paid for my first months rental I remembered why I left in the first place. Five things on high priority and out of my three rentals one was high the other two were low. 32 rental titles and thats the best they can do, it's not like my list is obscure or anything. I'm wondering about cancelling again, we've got V+ at home with the movies on demand. You can watch any film any time from their 500 or so, it costs anywhere up to £4.50 which isn't bad. God I sound like an advert don't I?!

I was listening to the radio today and they were having a discussion about those mosquito devices for dispersing teenagers. I think they sound like a good idea but have obvious draw backs. The main one being that they disturb the nice teens as well as the rowdy ones. One man had one put on the side of his house to stop kids playing football against his wall but neighbours complained when their children couldn't sleep, now the police have had to warn him to take it down and if he doesn't they will take action. The thing that made me smile though was the following... teenagers have been recording the mosquito sound on to their phones as ring tones and now can use their mobile phones in class as the teachers can't hear the frequency of the ring. You've got to give it to the teen that worked out they could do that.

News today said that a bad lifesytle can lead to the early on set of Alzheimer's Disease. I'm not denying that this happens, they have studied it so they must have found something... but when they study something they always find something. A bad lifestyle leads to obesity, HIV & anything else according to researchers. Well I've researched and leading a lifestyle of binge drinking and smoking leads to headaches, chest infections and a small bank balance. Has anyone else considered the point that if you fund a report into how two things might be related they will find something? I remember a while back when everyone was up in arms about mobile phone masts there was a report commissioned to prove there was no health risk posed by them. Who funded the report? A mobile phone company. Nothing these days is unbiased. As I've said I'm not disputing that being unhealth may lead to early on set Alzheimer's Disease, but we can't stop doing all the things they say are harmful to your future health. If this was the case no one would use mobile phones (this may be a good thing though) because the radiation causes cancer. No one would drink at all because of high blood pressure and liver failure (okay I don't drink and I have high blood pressure but I didn't stop because of this). You can't live life in a bubble, where is the fun in not enjoying yourself?

I've just kind of lost the plot today. I went back to work, I'm still ill so that probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had! I spent the entire morning walking around like a zombie, every time I walked the stairs I got so worn out I had to slow down and take pigeon steps. Even at my slowed pace I managed to do more work than one of the guys downstairs.

I've been watching DVDs and eating reheated pizza since I came home early. Reheated pizza... not the best meal. My heads kind of all over the place today. I'm thinking about having a nice long hot soak to try and steam out the demons. It'll be nice to rest.

I just got back from a night out with the girls in Wimbledon seeing Never Forget the musical about a Take That tribute band. I have to say I was a bit dubious about the whole thing but came out and felt like a sinner for thinking those things. It was amazing, it wasn't just a musical it was a show. I can't fathom why Take That wouldn't endorse the whole thing, I could understand if it was going to be making a joke of them or really bad but it was amazing. Even my friend, a die hard Take That fan loved it. It had something for everyone. For the women some very attractive men, especially Tim Driesen who played to "Mark Tribute" and Eaton James the "Howard Tribute", both of these handsome devils were on stage wearing next to nothing. Tim in a "Spartacus" gold number with a black thong back and Eaton in a very tight and brief pair of briefs. Needless to say the crowd were very enthusiastic. For the men there were several female dancers, not only did the wear hot pants and underwear for most of it they could bend in ways I haven't for years.

I highly recommend it for everyone, even if you aren't a Take That fan the dance numbers and effects were at times breath taking... although if you sit in the front row you are likely to get wet or have your skin scourched... but the view would be worth those two things.

Went to a new chiropractor yesterday, a woman at work goes there and recommended it. It's a bit swisher than my last one. Not only are they a chiropractors but they do massage, pilates classes, yoga and kickboxing. The woman I saw was a great improvement on my last chiropractor. As it was my first visit I was there for an hour to answer loads of questions about my history and then for treatment. I came out and felt much better than when I went in (apart from the large hole in my pocket where money used to be). Trouble is I've caught a bug from somewhere so any of the good done I'm not really feeling I ache all over. This morning I'm feeling a bit bruised and stiff but it is easier to move my arm now than yesterday.

This bug has really taken it out of me, yesterday I came home from work early as I was getting wheazy just walking up the short flight of steps to my office. I had agreed to come in early this morning to let our driver in, so being the mad fool that I am I got up and went to work, coughs and all. I sat there for an hour doing paperwork thinking "I can't believe how rude it is that our driver didn't call in if he's sick". Eventually someone turned up and told me to go home because I was looking and sounding rough. She then told me that yesterday afternoon they had spoken to the driver and told him not to come in until 8.30 as I wasn't well. No one bothered to tell me this and they should know better, if I make a promise to come in I would, but if I couldn't I would have phoned and let them know yesterday evening. The kicker was that my boss had left me a note on my desk to tell me this... what was the point in that? If I was at the desk to read it it was too late by then!

Over the last few months or so I have gone from loving my job and cancelling days holiday to come in to hating coming in because I was treated like dirt. This morning was just another pebble on the "quit-my-job" side of the scales. With staff being shuffled around in departments since we started a new venture its not as fun either. I love the new person who moved in to the department but it's a completely different environment in there now. I'm never good at making decisions, and this is a biggie. There's even another place looking for people where a friend works. I'd miss it here though, I just wouldn't miss the management.

Please note that I don't want to offend anyone but I was wondering why some people come door to door "selling" religion. (That's the bit people will probably get angry about, and if you did reading on doesn't seem very sensible).

There are many ways that you see Churches (and other religious facilities) try to raise their profiles. Group meetings, activity days and community support. I wouldn't have thought that going door to door would have brought many people in to the fold of your religion. My main problem being that my spare time is precious to me, I spend it relaxing and following my hobbies.

Two people came to my door on Sunday. "Madame we would like to speak to you about something you're probably not thinking about on a Sunday afternoon." I instantly prickled, I'm not religious (in fact if I stepped in to a church I'd probably burst in to flames) but the tone he took was one of assumption. I used to attend church and found all of it very interesting. The other thing that made me prickle was that he called me madame, I'm 26 for crying out loud.

Looking at the situation from a marketing point of view I would have thought a Sunday in our area would have been the less successful day to search for new people for your flock. I'm not saying I have a better idea but it just seems odd to me.

As I said I'm not particularly religious, I'm more of a follower of the sciences. Everyone belives in their own thing be it religious or spiritual. I myself feel an affinity with nature more than anything. Its ever changing ways and a certain power over life and death. It can be seen as the will of God but I'm still on the side of science I'm afraid.

I always thought this was a safe neighbourhood but after listening to the stories of some of my neighbours I'm beginning to doubt it. Neighbours being chased by gangs for trying to get their own property back, little old ladies being told that a guy trying to bash her door down wearing a balaclava was "just a drunk". Yes the police force is over stretched but they say they try and build relationships with the community too. Where are these relationships when they go and tell an old lady that she was probably just over-reacting?