VisionInBlue

The day I go out without a coat I forget my umbrella... typical. It was actually a nice walk home though. There's was a lovely fresh smell, still cheery despite the grey clouds.

I'm going to say it and I don't want to hear anymore about it. I asked, he fluffed over it.. done.

I feel like watching a musical, I've just got the urge to sing along!

Lots of individual thoughts today, there were a whole group of thoughts together earlier but I wasn't near a computer.

I may have just shot myself in the foot at work. My boss doesn't ever seem to understand the things that you tell him or the reason why you do them. Something must have changed in my mind because although at work I was worried I'm not so bothered now. It's just one of those things.

I had a wonderful day out with the girls today, nice leisurely lunch and chat. We've arranged a night out on the 5th for a birthday, then the weekend after we're off to see a musical. So we've gone from texting, the odd phone call and getting together once in about two months to seeing each other three times in the space of about a fortnight. Unfortunately that's how it seems to happen.

I think we might have disturbed a few old folk at the pub. When we weren't talking about work or when to go out, we were talking about sexual practices and Ann Summers. We don't deliberately go to talk about these things it just seems to come up, in this instance I was trying to think of something for a birthday present and came up with Ann Summers.

Surprise surprise I got nagged about asking out this guy I like. I even adapted something my friend said in to a really silly chat up line (which I found highly entertaining), "I'm a bit nervous, but hey, I've lost my virginity so there's nothing else to lose, [insert boring would you like to go out with me phrase here]". I did point out it wasn't likely to happen, as I mentioned yesterday, plus I was feeling nervous-sick just thinking about it.

But on a happy, less nauseous note I've passed the course I was doing on Customer Service Excellence. I completed five out of the seven units, and with the assessment form they send back to me I got a letter saying they had been notified I'd completed the written assignments and would be sending me my certificate when it had been seen by the examining board. I'll have to give them a ring tomorrow to check whether I need to complete the other two units. There's nothing that says I only had to do some of them, but it also indicates in the letter that submitting more wont make any difference to the outcome as its gone to be assessed. I'll probably still do the other two anyway just because it'd be nice to have a complete set of work.

I've planned to start a new course and family gave me money for my birthday to do it, this one is criminology. I'm really in to crime and detection and I've got a side interest in psychology. When I was looking for courses it was a toss up between the customers services for work or criminology for myself. Some friends (well acquaintances) wanted to know what the point of doing something that wouldn't further my career was. I don't think they understand having "outside interests". I know I'm getting ahead of myself but after criminology there's a really interesting one on forensics. I think I'd enjoy that more but it just makes sense to have a foundation in criminology first. I don't think I'd ever have a use for them when going for a job but I kind of like the idea of having them on my CV.

Something that has concerned me and just come back in to my thinking while watching QI Series B is about dinosaurs. How do we know that dinosaurs are greeny colours? What if Barney is actually an accurate depiction of dinosaurs? Maybe all dinosaurs were bright colours and furry.

I'm feeling a little less vacant than yesterday. Maybe I'm enjoying having a "free" day to myself rather than the whole of the country.

So far I'm really enjoying blog.co.uk. I did have my own website which had a certain novelty value but it wasn't so much fun. I love "meeting" new people on here, I'm a great one for people watching and this is just another extension of that. I'm wondering about getting a pro account but not really sure about its perks, I'll have to think on that one.

I'm looking forward to seeing the girls at lunch, been missing the bitching and gossip. I've been practising my lines... "Honey I don't know why he thinks he's good enough for you!" and "Don't lower yourself to his level." and so on and so forth.

What with this long weekend I've had my mind wandering and I've just realised next weekend I will have been single for two years. It seems longer than that. I've been out on dates and things but essentially single. I never know where to meet people these days. I sometimes think I've become a fuddy-duddy but everyone we meet is a little on the immature side. Maybe its just the girls mature faster than boys thing. I have met a person recently, (well a while ago really) he make me smile and makes me want to get up in the morning. I'm smiling now thinking about him. My friends are nagging me to ask him out because we've got lots in common but I can't do it, I like the motivation to get up in the mornings. If it went wrong I just wouldn't want to get out of bed. I tell people to just go for it, you never know if you don't try, but I can't take my own advice. Wouldn't life be simple if we could?!

There’s still hope for a cover of snow. I can see it building on the rooftops across the road. I’ve got my fingers crossed for it to keep falling at this rate. It looks like a fog has come in over the valley too, I can’t see the hills anymore. All I need are some bells jingling in the background. I can hear the slush in the road as the cars go by. I’m still feeling vacant, kind of empty I guess. I just need something to make me smile and the snow flurry is doing that at the moment.

Giant snowflakes are falling this morning, part of me is serene, snow has a calming effect on me just like fish tanks. The other part of me is laughing until my sides split because my Dads out playing golf in it.

Its times like this that I wish I lived somewhere it snowed all the time. I'd get sick of it after a while I know but I love the feeling it gives me, plus I like wearing woolly hats!

I'm looking forward to another day off, a four day weekend just wasn't enough for me!! Lunch with the girls which should be good as we haven't seen each other in what feels like forever.

The snow isn't settling, snowing for over an hour and nothing to show for it. Ho-hum, I'm feeling a bit vacant today, not sure what it is. Maybe the snow, maybe that I'm contemplating cleaning the place. I'm going to go, I'll probably be back later to waffle.

Yesterday I popped outside and it was attempting to snow, even that tiny amount of snow put a smile on my face. Today there's a proper snow flurry. I never quite understand why snow fall goes in all directions and at different speeds, I'm sure there's a technical reason for this, snowflake aerodynamics or such like but it'd ruin the fun if I knew why. I love waking up to a thick snowfall for those few hours before every one gets up to go to work or school the world looks perfect. You cant see any rubbish or anything tatty there's just a perfect layer of white.

Not only are Starbucks taking over shopping centres they are now infiltrating rest stops. Since our Little Chef closed down it has been an empty unsightly building. I have just been informed that it is now a Stabucks restaurant... what is the world coming to?

Whats that saying? Everyone has a book in them? I'm not sure what one I've got in me now, I'm writing one but over the years I've collected so many great stories from work that it just has to be written up. Obviously there are people that have more than one book in them, the trouble is they're good writers. When I'm blogging its just waffle, when I write I put effort in to it and I'm really proud of it. I have to wonder though if I concentrate on one it may be brilliant and if two they could be mediocre. May be thats a sacrifice for doing something you love. A true life tale of the workings of a book shop against a graphic novel (possibly series) with complex characters. I can't decide, may be I'm supposed to do both of them and just keep them for myself. I like the idea of that actually, something to pass on to the generations.

May be I'm cracking up but I just can't help watching things and crying. I do like a good blub. I've just been watching the end of Doctor Who series 2 where Rose gets taken to a parralel universe. Oh my god the tears. Overly sensitive may be but I love a good weepy story. I can't go and see romcoms in the cinema, I make a complete fool of myself!

I've got a nice long break this easter, after all the trauma at work I decided I needed some stress-free relaxing. I'm going to venture out tomorrow for a walk and may be go to the cinema. Unfortunately outside is a bit dull today, fingers crossed for some sunshine.

I'm going to think about a summer holiday, I've booked a week off work in August. It'll be the first time I've actually had a "summer holiday" since I was at school. I suppose I can hope for a heat wave here, cheaper holiday that way, have a week of take aways and restaurants and home made cocktails.

Friday again, this week seemed to go fast, lots of fun (and some stress). I'm actually going to make something of this weekend. Plans to be studious are at hand. There is still a lot of potential for me to do nothing (much like every other weekend) but I'm really going to try... hahaha... even I don't believe myself! Currently I'm watching Winter X-Games, I might try and go to see some other these. Some of the 'stunts' are amazing.

I've just got myself an aquarium on my PC. The easy pet! Its not as theraputic as a really aquarium, but quite fun. I don't know why when I'm around fish tanks I end up watching them. It makes me feel very peaceful, it seems like I need to feel peaceful more and more these days.

I met new people this week. Meeting new friends is always nice but meeting people who put a smile on your face is even better. Maybe why thats why it feels like the week has gone fast. Its a shame that they aren't local, but then I suppose thats an excuse for a weekend away every now and then.

Today is a fairly miserable day at the moment, it rained earlier and there is a thick black cloud hovering over the valley. Despite all this it is one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen. The leafless trees at the end of my garden are perfectly framed by the cloud. The branches are covered in the remains of the water and somewhere there must be some sun because the branches are glowing. I found myself just looking out at the scene for about five minutes. Its nice to know that nature knows how to cheer you up even on the dullest day.

Its not the break I was hoping for but I've got two days of peace and quiet. Well apart from work on Monday. They've gone out visiting family. I always think that I should have lots of fun when they go away... I always plan to do loads of stuff... but never actually do it. As you can tell I'm lazing with my laptop. Currently watching brain rotting DVDs and waiting for a very useless Times Online email with my sign in details so I can get free tickets for the cinema.

I got loads of junk food in Tesco but I actually feel like something healthy. I'm planning on chicken fajitas for lunch/dinner, which is essentially vegetables and chicken. That is until you add the guacamole, cheese and the bread. The main thing is it has the potential to be healthy!

At the moment its 12.15, I could get up and go for a walk, or maybe get on the exercise bike. Hahaha I make myself laugh sometimes. I still have loads of DVDs left to watch.

I'm starting my new routine tomorrow. After the whole debacle at work I'm going to look after myself instead of work. I put myself out for nothing so I'm playing by my new rules now. I will admit I'm not very good at continuing plans like this, they work for about a week then after the weekend they lose focus. I'm really going to try harder this time, I think it'll be more successful mainly because I'm so mad at work.

I went to the dentist today. Lucky me had to have a filing. I went for a check up and miraculously he managed to find a tooth with a hole in it that wasn't one of my teeth that hurt. With a poke and a prod I spent the next week in agony. Why do I go back and suffer more? I spent most of the morning looking like I'd been punched in the mouth, I lovely fat lip, there was the posibility I was dribbling but I just couldn't tell. I'm not having this mini tirade to say that dentists are awful. Its just that I would like to come out of the building and not be in more agony than when I went in. I'd also like to not pay for the privilege of the pain. I'd like to say thank you to my dentist who has left me with a very rough and uneven filling. Why didn't I say anything before I left about it? Well, they really need to rethink the bit where they ask you if it feels okay once its done because with half your face numb its impossible to tell.

I love my job, I don't know what it is about it but I love it. I take a day off and I always want to be back. Today is the first day ever I haven't wanted to do that. The first time in 17 months I've actually wanted to find another job. Sure I moan about it, everyone moans about their job, but that was part of what I liked about it. There was always someone to let off steam with. What happened yesterday knocked me so low, I really considered never going back. What makes me angry is that I'm sure that the person responsible doesn't even know what they've done. They've ruined my (all be it small) dreams and thought I wouldn't mind.

I was talking with some friends and they asked me what my one film would be. How can I just pick one?! I've got my favourites but I don't think I can just pick one to watch forever. I could possibly pick one from every genre but I still think that would be pushing it. I will admit to watching a lot of mindless drivel but its that mindless drivel that keeps me sane!

I'd need something musical to keep my spirits up, say, Sister Act 2 or Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. Something funny, this one is tricky because there are so many possibilities. Miss Congeniality maybe or Herbie Fully Loaded (there always has to be room for Herbie)or Dogeball, oh no... or Hot Fuzz. Romance, you've got Last Holiday, While You Were Sleeping, You've Got Mail But I'd probably pick Simply Irresistable with Sarah Michelle Gellar or the Princess Bride. Action... well thats even more challenging. I dont' think I could make a decision, I'd have to take the Die Hard series and Lethal Weapon 4. Then you've got things you can call adventure, Sahara, National Treasure and Tomb Raider. Childrens films, I would have to pick Daddy Day Care. Sci-Fi, Alien Resurrection. Disaster, Volcano. Horror, I don't really think that it covers all the based for horror but I'd pick Cursed. Superheroes (yes I am creating my own genres but it's my list!) X-Men 3 or Zoom (that one I've thrown in for entertainment value). Animated/Computer Animated, I know its half and half but Small Soldiers, Meet The Robinsons or Sword In The Stone. If it came to picking something TV, I'd be really stuck. Probably complete Futurama with the feature length ones too. Or complete Lost so I'd have something to think about, trying to work out all the twists on that blooming island would keep me occupied for years!

I think in conclusion I need to find a new hobby, then I wouldn't have this problem. I would have been fine picking my one CD and I don't think I'd have had a problem picking one book. One film however is beyond my comprehension. If they ever ban movies, if say we turn into a Demolition Man-esque world (oh god there's another one I'd take) I'd have to instantly join the resistance.